I hope you don't think I'm heartless.

I may come off as quite heartless and cold in this blog. Making things look unreal, even. But it is very real, and I used to be a softy, that waited and waited for things to work out. Tried things. Hoped it wasn't as bad as it looked.

I'm the softy that gives to beggars and homeless, and stops to help people with their pram or pick up groceries for the elderly if they drop them. I'm the one that people come up to in the supermarket, to ask for help to read the label, or where to find cheese chips and I don't even work there. One of the female employees said to me once "Oh, you're always so NICE"... and I was a bit startled and didn't know what to reply to that.

If I had been more selfish, I wouldn't be in this mess. I would have stopped caring and done what was best for me. Like most people do and what people SHOULD do.

To get out of a bad situation, you have to toughen up. That's why I write the way I do now, and make an effort, not to paint things pink and rosy anymore.